Today, I woke up without a heavy heart. I didn't feel weighed down. I didn't feel consumed by my circumstances.
Today, I cleaned my entire apartment. I swept. I dusted. I mopped. I vacuumed. I even vacuumed the couch, and wiped off the stove--my least favorite chores. I put away all of Macy's clothes that I washed the other day. I cut all the hair and old tinsel off the beater bar of the vacuum so it would work like it's supposed to. I organized all of my bow-making supplies and put them into a plastic tub. I was 10 kinds of productive.
Today, I worked on my calculus homework.
Today, I took Spencer for a walk at the park.
Today was a good day. Then, Today turned into Tonight.
Tonight has been downhill--literally since the sun went down.
Tonight, I am a broken record. I am missing him. I feel lost and alone. I don't feel strong enough to get through this. I just want to go back to the way it was before. I just want to hear his voice and tell him how much I love him. I started crying while I was doing the dishes. I hate nights like Tonight.
Tomorrow is another day. Sometimes Tomorrow is better than Today, sometimes it is worse. It is always a different day though. I made it through Today, and I am surviving Tonight. I'm ready for Tomorrow.
I'm ready for the Tomorrow when I don't have to struggle through this anymore--when it doesn't hurt so much. I just keep trying to remember that eventually, I will wake up to that Tomorrow.
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