I am Happy today. I slept in a little, which I always need. I actually got some decent sleep last night--I have a lot of bad dreams, so I don't usually sleep well. The weather today is beyond gorgeous, so Spencer and I headed out for a walk. There is a park right by my apartment, so we walked up there and did a lap around the lake on the beautiful trail. There were lots of people out with their kids and dogs. It made me excited for next spring when I can take Macy to the park. The sunshine was good for me too. Now I'm at home, sitting on my porch, wishing that I knew some of my neighbors.
There are a couple of guys fishing in the pond and drinking beer. I'm reaching the point where I can picture myself doing those kinds of things again someday. I'm starting to feel like the Worst Day of My Life was not the end of my life. I'm Happy for that feeling. I'm struggling less and less every day. A few weeks ago, it felt like I would never get through this. That feeling has all but faded away now.
The other day, God played a song on the radio just for me. It's by Sarah Evans, and it is called "A Little Bit Stronger." I won't post all of the lyrics, but there is one part that I especially try to remember.
Doesn't happen overnight but you turn around
And a month's gone by and you realize you haven't cried
It certainly has not been a month. I still do my fair share of crying. But, I am able to go longer stretches without truly having Bad Days. Friday was a Bad Day. The last Bad Day before that was almost a week prior. I'm Happy that the gaps between are getting bigger. I'm just Happy in general, and being Happy gives me hope that eventually this will all be just a memory.
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