Prayer Monday

Prayer Requests:

1.  Keep Daddy and his boat safe and bring him home to us.  Heal his back so he doesn't have to be in pain all the time.

2.  Let Macy continue to grow and develop the way she is supposed to.  Help me to handle the stress on my body, and to have a safe and healthy pregnancy, labor, and delivery.

3.  Help me to trust God and rely on him for strength through this difficult time.

4.  Chris and Julia's adoption.  Give them perseverance as they wade through the paperwork.  Keep their little girl safe and healthy, and expedite the process for them so they can bring her home.  Encourage them as they encounter road blocks.  Give them patience while they wait to meet their little girl.

Praises:

1.  God has given me Macy.  She moves and kicks and reminds me every day that she is a little piece of her Daddy.  She helps me feel close to him when he is so far away.

2.  God gives me strength to make it through each and every day--even when it seems impossible to do.

3.  I have wonderful friends and family who encourage me and help me keep my head up and keep pushing forward.

4.  I am still feeling wonderful despite being almost 6 months pregnant.

Prayer:

Dear God, 

  Thank you for bringing me this opportunity to share my prayer requests and praises.  I know that I don't pray nearly as often as I should, or as I would like to.  I know that many times I pray out of desperation--"Please God, fix my huge problem now!!!"  Help me to feel your presence this week.  Help me to make prayer a regular habit, instead of something I do when I "need something" from you.  Thank you for all the blessings you have brought into my life.  Help me this week to focus on those blessings, instead of focusing on my situation and feeling sorry for myself.  Please bless your children who are participating in Prayer Monday this week.  

In Your name I pray,

Amen. 

25 Weeks

How far along?

25 Weeks--Notice she's starting to throw off my center of gravity and I'm leaning back more.

Total weight gain/loss: 
20 Pounds

Gender: 
It's a Girl!! Her first name is Macy.  Still working on the middle name.  Baby Steps.

Size of baby:
Macy is about the size of a rutabaga, and weighs about 1.5 pounds.

Maternity clothes? 
Yes Please!! I've been searching  for a perfect sun dress for my maternity photos.

Stretch marks? 
Trying out the Mederma to zap the ones on the Lady Bags.  Using Burt's Bees Mama Bee Belly Balm to avoid them on the abdomen.  I don't think I have any, but I can't exactly see the underside of my belly anymore.

Sleep: 
Still sleeping like crap--missing Daddy, and having bad dreams pretty frequently.

Best moment this week: 
This week I felt and saw her kick from outside my belly.  It was pretty amazing.  She had the hiccups while I was listening to her on the doppler at the Doctor's office this week, too.  I think she's a show-off.  I started working on my pregnancy album this week too.  It has been a pretty excellent week, all things considered!

Movement: 
She is active throughout the day.  Her movements feel much more deliberate now.  If she's in the right mood, she'll kick my hand as I run it across my belly.  She moves the most when I'm in bed at night watching TV.

Food cravings: 
HUNGRY.ALL.THE.TIME.  Seriously.  I ate dinner last night, and a couple hours later, I was STARVING like I hadn't eaten all day.  I finally starting buying ice cream at the grocery store because it is cheaper than DQ.  I couldn't find my favorite flavor--Edy's Cherry Chocolate chip.  I am afraid they might have discontinued it (Gasp!).

Symptoms:

More nosebleeds--every morning I have to blow my nose, and then it bleeds for about 5 minutes.  Always the right nostril--weird.  The Doc gave me some meds for the acne.  We'll see how they work (so far, they aren't).  Lately I also just feel really pregnant.  I don't know how to describe it any other way.

Belly Button: in or out?
Still in.

Rings: on or off? 
Off at night and while I exercise, on the rest of the time.

What I miss: 
Bleu cheese, wine, DADDY, the ability to bend over.

What I am looking forward to: 
Finding my dress for my maternity photos, and finding Macy's outfit for when Daddy comes home.

Wednesday Hodgepodge

1. Did you know there is a National Day of pretty much everything in the universe? February 23 happens to be National Inconvenience Yourself Day...when was the last time you were inconvenienced?
This morning, when I had to drive 20 miles one-way to the doctor, for them to tell me "Everything is good.  See you in a month."  Literally, about 5 minutes in the exam room.  I love hearing Macy on the doppler, but I can feel her moving.  I know she is fine, and I don't need to make a 40-mile trip for reassurance.

2. When a room in your house needs painting who does the job?

I am currently an apartment dweller.  The last time I lived somewhere that I was able to paint, I did most of the painting.  Baby Daddy helped with a couple of rooms, but I am far too messy for him and I drive him nuts--and I'm the one who has OCD.  I think when we move back into a house, he will probably be doing most of the painting.  I'll offer to help, but he will end up getting irritated that I'm not doing it right and just finish it himself.  Darn!

3. Are you friends with your cousins?

Not really.  My brother and I have 2 cousins who are the same age as we are.  They used to come stay with us for a couple weeks in the summer, but honestly I haven't seen either one of them for close to 10 years, probably.  I have 6 other cousins on that side of the family, but the oldest one is 17, so we don't exactly have a lot in common.  There are some more cousins on the other side, but I've only met them once or twice.

4. Do you use an alarm clock? If yes-is it an actual alarm, music, or something else?

I use several alarm clocks.  I am a Snooze-er, and it requires more than one alarm clock to make sure I get up in the morning.  Usually I have the alarm on my phone--which blares and obnoxious beeping tone--and then a regular alarm clock that beeps.  I still usually Snooze for at least 30 minutes in the morning.

5. What do you put ketchup on?

Tater tots, hamburgers, sometimes fries.

6. What smells make you nostalgic?

The smell right before or after it rains.  Or the smell of "summer."  Also, fake pine scent at Christmas time.

7. Have you heard about the high school English teacher recently suspended as a result of some things she wrote in her personal blog? You can read the story here but in a nutshell she vented a lot of frustration onto her blog. She didn't mention individual students by name but she did make some harsh comments about kids in general and their parents.

What are your thoughts-If you're a parent is your child's teacher online and are you 'friend' or 'follower' there? If you're a teacher are you on facebook and do you accept or friend students on fb? How about their parents? If you're a student are you friends with your current or former teachers online? Do any of them have blogs you read? If you're a teacher or a parent do you ever use your blog as a place to vent your frustrations with our educational system? So much to discuss...

I am neither a parent, student, nor teacher.  I do feel that teachers are a sort of "public figure," and they are held to a higher standard by the community in general.  Of course I feel that teachers are entitled to private lives--private.  Meaning, if she didn't want to deal with backlash from the community, she should have made the blog private.  I understand the need to vent.  I do it here myself.  But use a little discretion.  

8. Insert your own random thought here.

I just want to thank all of my friends who remembered me on Prayer Monday.  I wanted to participate, but I just wasn't able to.  It was a hard day, and I am very thankful for all of the thoughts and prayers.

24 Weeks--She has a name, people!!

How far along?

24 Weeks--Notice she's starting to throw off my center of gravity and I'm leaning back more.

Total weight gain/loss: 
20 Pounds--it has been a stressful week!!

Gender: 
It's a Girl!! Her first name is Macy.  Still working on the middle name.  Baby Steps.

Size of baby:
She is about the size of an ear of corn, and weighs about 1.4 pounds.

Maternity clothes? 
Yes Please!! I got some sweet new yoga pants (I'm wearing them in this picture), and ordered some more maternity clothes from OldNavy.com this week.

Stretch marks? 
Trying out the Mederma to zap the ones on the Lady Bags.  Using Burt's Bees Mama Bee Belly Balm to avoid them on the abdomen.  I don't think I have any, but I can't exactly see the underside of my belly anymore.

Sleep: 
Sleeping like crap lately, but mostly because Daddy is gone.

Best moment this week: 
Good milestone--she is now a viable Tiny Person!!  It's only a 50/50 chance, and she would be in the hospital on machines until June, but she is viable none-the-less!

Movement: 
Lots of movement in the evenings.  Last night I felt her roll from one side to the other--a first!  Usually she just kicks me.  She had the hiccups a couple weeks ago.  That is a strange (wonderful) feeling!!

Food cravings: 
Still substituting food for cigarettes when I am stressed.  Also, I am pretty much hungry all the time now.  Lately, creamy potato soup in a bread bowl from Panera has been my comfort food of choice.

Symptoms:

Still lots of nosebleeds, sinus congestion, ankle swelling, and ACNE!!  I look like a 13-year-old boy.  It has gotten SOOO bad this week!!

Belly Button: in or out?
Still in.

Rings: on or off? 
Off at night and while I exercise, on the rest of the time.

What I miss: 
Bleu cheese, wine, DADDY, the ability to bend over.  I am a freak and insist on drying my feet and in between my toes after I shower.  I fear I won't be able to do that much longer.

What I am looking forward to: 
Having some belly pictures taken professionally.

Coping: The Bittersweet Edition

Today has been one of the best, hardest, saddest, and most bittersweet days of my life.  It actually started out alright.  I managed to sleep in until almost 9:00, which is quite an accomplishment these days.  I might have slept longer, but I made the mistake of letting my furry child sleep with me--thus reinforcing that he has to sleep in the crate.  He woke me up by putting his cold nose on my face an then giving me the "please let me go out and shit" look.  I obliged.  Then I got myself something to eat, and did a few random chores while I waited for Baby Daddy to get home from duty.  


Today was our last day together.  I guess I can't really even call it a day--it was about 5 hours.  But I was determined to make the best of it.  I refused to spend it blubbering and moping.  And let me tell you, I am DAMN proud of myself.  I made it all the way until it was time to leave before there was a single tear--and I had the most amazing 5 hours I've had in a long time.  I don't even know why--we didn't do anything spectacular.  We were lazy and watched TV and snuggled and just enjoyed each other's company.  And it was exactly what I needed today.  That part of my day was wonderful.  The best.


Then the shitty part came.  Oh, it was so shitty.  It's still so shitty.  


This afternoon, I did one of the hardest things I've ever done in 26 years .  I drove the man that I love, the father of my child, my best friend, my soulmate, blahblahblah--insert your favorite cliche here, to the pier, told him Good-Bye, and then watched him walk across the parking lot, down the pier, and out of my site--for SEVEN months.  Tears, people!


So.Many.Tears.


But I'm still alive.  Surprisingly, I think I have cried less today than I have on any of the past 3 or 4 days.  On the way home, I got myself a medium Blizzard with extra chocolate instead of a small, because this was a real doozy.  And you know what?  It only took half of it to soothe me.  Didn't see that coming.  I guess because the anticipation was worse than the actual event.  Until today, I have been feeling like I'm never going to make it through this.  


Today--TODAY I feel like it might be alright.


I came home, read some blogs, and worked on turning this

...into an actual room.  I did a decent job--you can even see the floor now.  And it kept me busy, and kept me from melting into a pile of weeping, blubbering, hormonal, dramatic, pregnant goo on the carpet.  Again--proud of myself!!  Also, very thankful to have my furry kid to keep me company.  He's a really good companion--and a lap dog.

(Please ignore my excellent impression of a 13-year old boy.  My face is revolting, and I haven't figured out how to stop it.)


So for now, I'm coping.  Tonight has turned into an iTunes marathon of "our songs," but it hasn't been sad.  I'm still sad, but I'm trying not to wallow.  If you think of me in passing and you want to say a little prayer that God will keep him safe and bring his boat back in one piece, that would be amazing.  He's pretty important to me.  Thanks.

Wednesday Hodgepodge

1. Your favorite chocolate treat?

I pretty much like it all.  The Chocolate Extreme Blizzard is pretty high up there.  It would be my favorite chocolate ice cream treat.  My favorite candy would have to be Hershey's Kisses if we're talking milk chocolate.  As far as dark chocolate is concerned, I love Ghirardelli Espresso Escape chocolate squares, which are really hard to find, and not advised for use by pregnant women.  Delicious, though.

2. What more than anything else makes you feel loved?

When someone buys something or even sends me a picture of something just because it made them think of me.  It doesn't have to be anything expensive, just something they know I would like--like the picture I got yesterday from Julia of the See's Candy display.

3. Cherries or blueberries?

Cherries--fresh bing cherries in the summer time.

4. What is the one trait you most want the leader of your country to posess?

I hate politics, honestly.  Is conservative-ism a trait?  Because I definitely want them to be conservative.

5. Are you a saver or a spender?

I try and try to be a saver--I really do.  But I'm not.  I'm absolutely a spender.  I will say that I am better at saving money when it comes in a large chunk--like a tax return or bonus.  I will usually have plans for every dollar of it before it hits my bank account, and I tend to save a lot of it.  My paychecks are another story.

6. If you gave a party for all of your friends would they already know each other?

No way.  In the past 10 years, I have lived in five different states (KS, IL, MO, SC, VA), and nine different residences, and I have been attached to six different duty stations.  It's impossible for them all to know each other.  But they would probably all get along, and they would have a great time at the party.

7. Are you interested in antiques?

The concept of antiquing and restoring old pieces is interesting to me, but I wouldn't even know where to start, or where I would find the time.  I would prefer to have antiques passed down to me from my family than to go hunt them down myself.

8. Insert your own random thought here.

I'll use this space to promote a good cause.  My good friends Chris and Julia are in the process of adopting a 7-year old girl from Eastern Europe, who has craniofacial dystosis .  If you have the time, please check out their blog.  What they're doing is pretty amazing, and I'm hoping to raise a little awareness for them.  

Update: Crazy pregnancy To-Do list

Part of what makes lists so incredibly soothing to me is the ability to go back and cross things off, which gives me tangible proof that I have accomplished something.  A few weeks back, I posted a list of things that needed to get finished, and I do have couple of updates.  Yes, I know this is mostly for my benefit, but you are reading to blog of a neurotic freak so here goes.

1.  The name hasn't been decided quite yet, but we're closer.  I like Macy.  Daddy likes Fiona.  I think it will only be a little while longer before I can get him to agree that it would be better to name her after a department store than after an ogre...or a Trigger-Happy ex-girlfriend.

2. Today, I bought the books that tell you what to do with the baby once she is here!  I haven't read them yet, but I'm one step closer.

3.  Tax return is in the Baby account...shopping spree scheduled for later this week.

4. Yeah, still no update on this one.  My original plan was to get my little sister to come be my nanny, but she's not buying it.  The baby is on the military healthcare waiting list, but they can't even tell me how long the wait is.  I guess there is still time though.

5.  Car has been purchased!!  Tonight I found out it has fog lights...and automatic headlights.  Every drive is like an adventure.  It does make me feel better about having spent so much money.

Well I guess I should get to reading.

That's why we can't have nice things

So this weekend was moving weekend--YAY!!  Special thanks to Daddy, and friends Josh and Julia for moving all of my stuff while my pregnant self pretty much watched.  Sorry!

Everything made the trip across the parking lot in one piece, in a relatively short amount of time.  I was enjoying my extra bedroom, and my wonderful clean carpet...that's when it all went wrong.

Anyone who knows me is aware that I already have one child.  His name is Spencer, and he is a 4-year old Jack Russell Terrier.

Isn't he cute?  He is spoiled rotten, just like most only children.  He has actually been doing a wonderful job of training me to be a real mommy--he is excellent at waking me up in the middle of the night, and making disgusting messes for me to clean up.  Spencer is what you might call "high maintenance."  He has food allergies that force me to buy him special expensive food, and he has skin allergies that result in him spending most of the "pollen season" doped up on Benadryl and sporting the cone of shame.  Overall, he's a pretty good dog though--despite what Daddy has to say.

Occasionally, this dog will get a stomach bug.  By occasionally, I mean about once a month.  Usually he likes to spew around 3am, and he prefers to do it on my bed--see?  Excellent training to be a mommy--cleaning up nastiness in the middle of the night.  (Can you see where I'm going with this yet?)  This particular month, he decided to wait until about an hour after everything had been moved in to our new apartment with the NICE CLEAN CARPET.  Of course, he has no idea that maybe I would prefer him to vomit on the linoleum.  Oh no.  Why would he do that?

It wasn't just a one-time thing either.  Four times on Saturday.  Four. Times.

The third and fourth times I managed to get him to the linoleum.

Yesterday, I thought he was feeling better.  I freed him from his plastic prison.

Three times.  Three. Times.

The second time, I noticed a wad of aluminum foil.  Yes, this dog will sometimes channel Billy Goat, and get into the trash.  So now I have to call the vet and explain that I am a horrible dog mom--

"Yes, vet-tech receptionist lady at Petsmart, my dog got into the trash on Friday ...I do routinely leave it where he has access to it--in fact, a lot of times I like to baste my garbage in meat or bacon grease and just put it right into his crate.  This is because I like to play this little game I call 'See what Spencer can poop out.'  I have no idea what else he ate out of the trash--that's the fun of the game, lady!! ...Could you please tell me if he is going to be alright, or if I should rush him to your office and wait three hours for you to tell me to keep an eye one him? ...Or maybe I should even wait until the middle of the night so that I can finance braces for the daughter of the vet at the Pet Emergency Room? ...I am ashamed of myself for being such a terrible pet mom. The Animal Cops are probably on their way right now. ...I will follow Spencer around for the rest of the day, monitoring his condition and feeding him PediaLyte so he doesn't get dehydrated.  Do you think it would be alright if I put the PediaLyte in the toilet?  What?! ...Of course I don't let him drink from the toilet!! What kind of person do you think I am?!  Alright buh-bye now."

I didn't give him any PediaLyte.  Please don't tell the judgmental vet-tech receptionist lady at Petsmart.

He is feeling much better today, and by tomorrow he will probably be allowed to leave the kitchen. Oh, and if I didn't let him drink from the toilet, he would die from dehydration.  He doesn't like the water in his bowl--it's not fresh enough.

22 Weeks

How far along?

22 Weeks

Total weight gain/loss:
17 Pounds

Gender:
It's a Girl!! Still no name.

Size of baby:
She is about 11 inches long, and weighs about a pound.

Maternity clothes?
Yes Please!! Maternity pants are the most comfortable non-jammies there are. I'm still wearing some of my own shirts--the bigger ones--and a lot of Daddy's shirts. At home, I mostly lounge around in sweats. I was pretty sad the other day when I realized I can't fit into one of my favorite pairs of pajama pants.

Stretch marks?
None on my abdomen, but my, uh, Lady Bags? are starting to look like they should be in a National Geographic special.

Sleep:
No problems falling asleep, but once something wakes me up in the morning, I'm awake. I've banished Spencer to the crate, and I've just accepted that there is no more sleeping in for me.

Best moment this week:
She was moving around like crazy the other night. I was hoping Daddy would be able to feel her, but not so much.

Movement:
She is crazy in the evenings. Like I said, you can't feel it from the outside yet.

Food cravings:
I should probably buy stock in DQ, because I eat 3-4 Chocolate Extreme Blizzards every week. They just came out with the new Midnight Truffle Blizzard. Add the Midnight Truffle pieces to the Chocolate Extreme, and you have the ultimate pregnant chocoholic's dream snack...I think I'm going to have to head over to DQ soon...

Symptoms:
Round ligament pain (yeah, Google it. Not fun!), nosebleeds, sinus congestion, ankle swelling--no cankles yet, occasional pressure in my abdomen.

Belly Button: in or out?
Still in.

Rings: on or off?
Off at night and while I exercise, on the rest of the time.

What I miss:
Bleu cheese, wine, rolling over at night without being stabbed by round ligament pain.

What I am looking forward to:
Feeling her kick from the outside...and picking her name.

Because of my love for bleu cheese...

...I have decided to start doing the Wednesday Hodgepodge at From this side of the Pond.


1. What is more important-doing what you love or loving what you do?
I don't know that one is more important than the other, but I do think you have to do one if you can't do the other.  For instance, I hate what I do, but whenever I'm not at my job, I do what I love.  That's how I stay sane.


2. Do you like bleu cheese?
I have been drooling since I read this question!!  I know when some women are pregnant, they miss booze or caffeine or being able to see their toes, or sushi.  I MISS EATING BLEU CHEESE.  I can't even have wings from my favorite wing place because the thought of going in there and not having any of their delicious fresh-made bleu cheese just kills me!


3. What is the most difficult emotion for you to handle?
Sorrow.  I'm the type of person who has "flashbacks" to the event, which just starts the process over again.  There is always a lot of sobbing and blubbering, and eventually I end up having trouble breathing or heaving until I feel like I'm going to throw up.  It's not pretty.  


4. Fresh flowers or a box of chocolate?
I'm not big on boxed chocolates (unless they are from See's Candy, which is really hard to find on the East Coast), so I would have to say fresh flowers.  Especially if they are purple roses.


5. What's a song you love that has the word 'love' in its title? It doesn't have to be a 'love song'.
"I Love Your Love the Most" --Eric Church


6. Are you the person you wanted to be when you grew up?
Absolutely NOT.  I think that is the hardest part about growing up--realizing that life never turns out the way you thought it would, or the way you wanted it to, and that it's OK.  Honestly, it's something I have only come to accept over the last few months, and I am 26 years old.  My life is not a fairy tale.  I never imagined I would be unmarried and pregnant, or that I would have a job that I absolutely loathe, but here I am.  Somehow, despite all that, my life still has meaning; my life is still fulfilling.  It's hard to accept that everything will be fine even though you strayed so far from the path you (and society) intended.


7. Any special Valentine's Day plans?
Well Daddy is going to stand duty, and I am going to be unpacking the new apartment, or cleaning the old one.  Truthfully, I don't really like Valentine's Day.  I know only single girls are supposed to feel that way, but I just don't understand the big deal.  I do like that I will get flowers.


8. Insert your own random thought here.
I'm so excited about getting my tax return so I can go on a baby shopping spree!!  

Rogue Pics

As requested, here are some pics of my new car.

22-Week Ultrasound

I had my 22-week ultrasound this morning.  She's still a girl, and everything looks perfectly normal.  She likes to spend most of her time on her tummy.  This is the second ultrasound where she has refused to cooperate with the tech.  With a little coaxing, they did manage to get the pictures they needed to determine that everything is progressing perfectly.  Her heart rate was 154, and she weighs 15 oz--almost a whole pound.  Here is a pretty good shot of her face:

They can see almost everything on these ultrasounds.  I got to see all the bones in her spine, her fingers, her heart, and her kidneys.  I know that she has four fingers and one thumb on the left hand, for sure.  We couldn't see her right hand.  Too bad they can't see her hair color.  Some background:  Daddy has red hair, and my Mom also has red hair.  I am terrified that she is going to be a Ginger.  Still keeping my fingers crossed on that one!!

Here is a side profile where you can see here ribs and her fingers on the left hand:

And lastly, we have the Joybringer.  This is the best ultrasound picture so far--from all 3 of the ultrasounds I have had.  She's already sucking her thumb!

I'm planning on having another 3D ultrasound sometime after 24 weeks, so stay tuned.

Reloaded and spring rain

Well I now have a new-and-improved blog, after much frustration and a lot of cursing.  I started following a blog, and then couldn't stop.  This wouldn't have been that big of a deal except it was a blog that had about 250 new posts every day, and it was clogging up my reading list.  I don't want to post the name because I'm sure that's bad blogger etiquette, but I will say, make sure you actually want to follow a blog before you do it.  I think I have recovered for the most part.

On a different note, I want to share with you all that today in southeastern Virginia, it is 67 degrees.  I would gloat a little, but it just seems wrong.  Sure, you are all getting a snow day today, but you're also freezing.  In addition to the balmy temperature, today is the most beautiful overcast spring day I have seen in a very long time.  I'm quite partial to the occasional rainy day, and this one has brought with it the most amazing smell--that clean, fresh, new smell of rain.  Honestly, I think I could do without sunshine if I could open my windows and smell the rain every morning.  It's just awesome.

New favorite thing

I don't consider myself to be a materialistic person.  I love to shop, and I like to have "things," but I don't feel like the "things" can make my life complete.  That being said, yesterday I purchased my new favorite thing--a 2011 Nissan Rogue.  My good friend Julia recently bought one, and I really liked hers.  I finally found the time to go into the Nissan dealership and check them out for myself.  I ended up spending a little more than I wanted, getting a much better deal than I expected, and walking out with exactly the vehicle I was looking for.  This car has everything--leather, heated seats, navigation, blue tooth, USB interface with the ability to control my iPod from the dash, sunroof, EVERYTHING.  That includes plenty of room for a car seat (or even car seats, but let's not get ahead of ourselves), and an automatic transmission.

  I can't wait to make my journey to Illinois in May in my new car!!