Today I need to do something that I absolutely do NOT want to do. I am dreading it more than anything else in life right now. I am genuinely scared. This fear is so irrational that it is ridiculous.
There are a lot of things I am afraid of. I'm not ashamed to admit that even as a grown adult, I am mortified of spiders, I am scared of throwing up and will do anything to avoid it, and I am also afraid of the dark. Seriously. But this thing I have to do doesn't fall into any of those categories, and I have been trying to talk myself into doing it all day--well, since yesterday, actually.
I hate calling people that I don't know. HATE IT. It scares the bajeezus out of me.
Today, I need to make a phone call to a Master Chief--someone who is 3 pay-grades above me, which makes this even more intimidating. To make matters worse, I need to call him and ask him to do something for me. (I also HATE asking for help, especially from strangers.) The thing I need him to do is very simple and trivial, and I'm sure he gets asked to do it a few times a month, maybe even once a week.
But this is SO scary for me. I'm hoping that by writing this, I can work up the courage to just get it over with. Putting it off just makes it sit in the back of my mind like a dark, angry storm cloud, just building strength the longer I wait. I know I will feel better once I just get this taken care of.
But I don't WANT TO!!
I am exactly the same way. Even though I know it doesn't make any sense, I get so worked up!
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