My daughter is probably going to think I am the Meanest Mom Alive. I never pictured myself as "that Mom," but in a society where kids are expected to "grow up" at a younger and younger age, I don't see that I will have a choice. She might hate it while she is young, but I just hope that someday she understands why I was so mean to her.
- She is NOT getting a cell phone when she is 10...or 8 or however old these kids are who have cell phones nowadays. Where is she going at 10 years old that she would even need a cell phone? She's definitely not going out by herself without an adult at that age. Once I allow her to go places without an adult, she can take my phone--the same way I did when I was in high school. Once she can drive, we'll talk about her own phone. I'm going to do my damnedest to get her one that doesn't have a camera. That may not even be possible by that point, but I can certainly try. The instance of girls texting naked pictures is way to high for my comfort. We're going to have a talk about that around the onset of puberty. I don't think it is an issue that parents address, and most teens really aren't mature enough to understand the implications of the decision to take those kids of pictures.
- She is going to learn that actions have consequences--and that sometimes, things ARE her fault. I don't want her to grow up learning to blame other people for her own poor choices. I also don't want her to feel like she is owed something by society, her teachers, or anyone else. I'm tired of hearing about kids who have a sense of entitlement. My kid isn't going to be one of them.
- She is going to learn to respect other people--particularly her elders and other authority figures, like teachers. If I get a phone call informing me that my kid is disruptive or disrespectful in the classroom, you can bet that I'm going to jump in her ass for it. If she sees a woman (or a man) carrying an armful of packages, I expect her to open the door for her (or him). I expect her to say "yes, ma'am" and "no sir." I expect her to say "please" and "thank-you," and to offer to help with the dishes if she is invited to a friend's house for dinner.
- These little outfits I see girls wearing at the mall--the short shorts and tank tops? NOT HAPPENING.
- She is going to learn the value of a dollar. That means she will be buying her first car. I might price match her so that she can get a nicer car than she otherwise could, but I'm not just buying it for her. When kids get handed things, they don't appreciate them. That means they don't take care of them, and they expect Mom or Dad to replace them when they destroy them.
- I don't want my daughter going to her friends when she has questions about her body--I want her to come to me. That means, I am going to talk to my daughter about sex. I'm not going to just change the subject, or tell her something to get her to stop asking questions. I'm going to tell her the truth--in an age-appropriate manner, of course. That will hopefully open the communication lines so that when she is 15 and starts thinking about having sex, she will come talk to me first.
What scares me, is that I feel like I'm going to be the minority for raising my child this way. I hope I'm wrong. I hope I can be part of a community where at least a few other parents give a crap. I can hear her already: "But so-and-so's Mom is letting her go!" I just really hope I don't have to fight that battle all through her tween and teen years.
