A Baby Story

DISCLAIMER:  If you have no desire to read about my cervix, dilating, or amniotic fluid, you might want to skip this one.

Hello, Dear Internets.  I apologize for the long hiatus.  Apparently, babies are a lot of work!!  I know I had mentioned doing a 38 Weeks post, but I decided just to share the good part--the belly pic.  That's what you all want anyway, right?  This was taken at my baby shower--2 days before Macy was born.  Check out my sweet cankles!!

The rest of that post would have read something along the lines of "Ankles...really swollen...pee 30 times a day...glad I made it to my own shower."

You see, 5 days prior, I had my first visit to my OB's office.  At this visit, I was informed that I was already dilated to 2 cm, and would NOT be making it to my due date, or even to June.  When I commented that I only needed to make it to the 28th--the day of my baby shower--I was told I had a 50/50 chance. Thankfully, Macy cooperated.  My shower was amazing, and I would like to thank all of Macy's wonderful Illinois Aunties for doing such an awesome job.  Here is a picture of all of us:

The day after my shower, I was supposed to go to the lake with the fam.  My brother was in town visiting from Springfield, and we were supposed to have a nice day sweating in the sun on the boat.  I woke up that day feeling like crap.  I was also pretty sure I was leaking amniotic fluid, which meant I definitely shouldn't be getting into any lakes.  I decided to stay home and nest all day instead.  It was a good thing too, because that day was the most uncomfortable day of my entire life.  I was feeling an incredible amount of pressure in my abdomen, and a lot of pain too.  I was sweating like a pig, and I couldn't get comfortable.

That evening, I started having contractions.  If you've never had a kid, please don't believe anything you see on TV.  Contractions are not a sudden, stabbing, debilitating pain that blind sides you out of nowhere.  They feel very much like cramps, and they start out mild and intensify over time.  If you have back labor, which I did, they feel like a lower back ache.  Many people think back labor is very painful.  I have always had back problems, so I actually didn't think back labor was that bad. I was relieved that I had started having contractions--that meant the end of my pregnancy was near.  I slept as much as I could that night.  The contractions really weren't that bad.  They were uncomfortable, but I managed to sleep through them for a little while.  By 6:00 the next morning, they were finally 3-5 minutes apart and consistent--time to head to the hospital!!  By that point, I was ready to get the show on the road!!

They admitted me around 7 am.  By that point, it was extremely painful to sit.  I refused the wheelchair, and walked myself up to the labor deck.  I put on the very fashionable gown--complete with slits in the front that would allow me to whip out my boobies with ease!!--and the nurse came to get my information.  She checked me, and found that I was dilated to 3 or 4 cm, but the bag was bulging.  She immediately pulled her hands out of my vajayjay so as not to risk inadvertently breaking my water (only doctors can do that).  They finally moved me into the labor room, and I did my best to get comfortable.  All I could really do by that point was lay on my left side.  Any other position was too painful.

You're probably thinking, "Man, I hope she gets her epidural soon."

I didn't have one.  On purpose.  I didn't want an epidural.  People look at you like you have an extra head when you say the words "I don't want an epidural."  Let me just say, I don't judge you if you had an epidural, or if you plan to have one.  I didn't opt to go natural because I am a crazy hippie.  The women in my family are built such that babies just, like, shoot out of us.  We have short labors.  I was banking on this, and I didn't want an epidural to slow the process down.  I also didn't want a catheter, or to have a needle shoved into my spine.  It was one of the best decisions I have ever made, and I won't have one the next time either.  That's why I didn't have an epidural.  Turns out, my gamble was a good one--I was only in active labor for about 6 hours.

Anyway, so I'm laying on my left side, breathing through the contractions.  My OB was actually on call that day, which was excellent.  He came in around 10:20, and asked if I wanted to have my water broken.  He told me it would speed things up, but also make my contractions more intense.  I believe my response was, "Let's get this over with."  He broke my water, and checked me again.  By that point, I was already dilated to 7 cm.  The stage of labor that takes you from 7 cm to 10 cm (fully dilated) is called transition.  It's the most intense (read: painful) part, but also the shortest.  It was very intense.  But, it only lasted for about 45 minutes.  At one point, I questioned whether I was going to make it.  My mom was my coach, and I looked at her and said "I don't know if I can do this."  By that point, I had no choice.  They wouldn't have given me the epidural even if I wanted it.  I was incredibly relieved when I finally felt the urge to push.  My OB got there, I pushed for about 20 minutes (which actually felt amazing), and then they handed me this:

Macy Jane

May 30, 11:36 am

7 pounds, 2.3 ounces

19.5 inches long

Perfect.  Absolutely Perfect.

Theeeen, it got a little bit interesting.  I am a prime example of why home births are a BAAAAD plan.  If I had given birth at home, Macy would have been perfectly fine...and I would have bled to death.  The worst part of my labor was not the contractions...or the pushing...or being stuck 3 times for my IV.  It was the 20 minutes my OB spent trying to keep me from bleeding out on the table.  I actually cried during that part.  I just  wanted him to STOP.PUSHING.ON.MY.STOMACH.  I lost 3000 ccs of blood, and my blood pressure got as low as 80 over 30.  Fun times!  I had no idea what was happening, but apparently, it was pretty serious.  I didn't have to have a transfusion, but they spent the next 10 hours pumping me full of pitocin.

Despite my theatrics, I had an amazing birth experience.  My OB was awesome.  I had wonderful nurses.  I was feeling good by the next day. 

Oh, and this little thing?  Did I mention that she is Perfect?? :)