Lather, Rinse, Repeat...

Lately, I feel like I'm oscillating between being totally bored with my life, and being completely overwhelmed.

I don't blog because I feel like no one would want to read anything I have to say.  I'm not interesting any more.  I'm not even funny.  I'm sarcastic and bitter.  I'm Mommy, and very little else these days.  I really have nothing to talk about except my kid.  That's the boredom part.

At least once a day, I get sucked into this downward spiral where I freak out over the amount of things on my To-Do List.  Then, I obsess for a while about how to tackle all of those things.  Usually, I decide I just need to get organized.  Simple.  So I organize so much that organizing becomes an astronomical task in and of itself...because I need EVERYTHING to be organized.  I made a list of the closets in my house one night with the intention of planning out where I would store everything.  I finally realized I needed to throw that shit away.

So, yeah.  It's a vicious cycle.  When I start to think about all the things "I really need to get done," this palpable anxiety wells up inside me.  I try to beat it back down with organizing.  The organizing is just another thing that "I really need to get done."  It is a never-ending task that is supposed to be my solution and is supposed to ease my anxiety.  The more anxiety I feel, the more I obsess over organizing and making lists because if I could  just. get. organized... I wouldn't be anxious and I wouldn't feel like I am totally overwhelmed by the fact that I ALWAYS need to do laundry.  (Seriously. ALL.THE.TIME. I need to do laundry.  Apparently, if you leave laundry in a pile, that shit will MULTIPLY and make laundry babies.)

I'm exhausted, which makes me even more boring.  All I want to do at the end of the day, is sit in my comfortable chair, watch Dexter (which I am now caught up on--which SUCKS), rot my brain with Facebook and Mommy blogs, and buy shit I don't need on Amazon.  That's not interesting.  No one wants to read about that.

So, I apologize, dear Bloggies.  I won't even promise to blog more often.  All I really have to talk about are my unbelievably adorable child, and my neuroses.  Please, go back to your interesting lives now.